|Ashamed to show these pictures of my totally un~prioritized day!|
|But, check out the blooming wildflowers!|
Wow, today on my bike ride, I was totally, completely convicted! I will let you know right up front that struggle with trying to do too many things in one day. I have some false assumption that I am superwoman or have some other heroic super powers. This stems from my perfectionism and drive. I will sit down and write out everything that I want to get done and then write down a schedule, the basic order things should happen. The problem is I do not follow the plan. I try to do too many of the things on the list at the same time or reprioritize them just to "get through them faster." I will tell you what, it does not help and it creates alot of anxiety for me.
Today, was one of those days. I had a pretty normal list, for me, of things to do before work at 10 am. Each day, the first part of my day, from 5:30 am - 6:30 am, is set aside for breakfast with my God. When I do this first thing in the morning, I have an unsurpassable peace with me all day long. This is something I am truly working on establishing from my time of learning with Linda and our Bible study called, A Women After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George. I have also talked it over with my counselor. I told her that I struggle with getting this done first thing because if I get up and do not go straight to my chair with my Bible, I will get utterly distracted. I will see that the laundry could be put in before I start to read so I could then put them in the dryer after I was finished reading or I could try to squeeze an 'important' email in or even a quick blog entry in order to 'have it done so I can focus on the Bible.' What really happens is while I am doing those other things, I am thinking the whole time, this is not what I should be doing right now. This is not my top priority and so the anxiety sets in. This is so wrong and I know it. Wrong or not, I struggle with it, big time! The first step in solving a problem is admitting it and committing myself to improve. I am human and I am fallible.
I have learned a ton from the book that Linda and I just finished. Over the past 9 months, we have been gleaning from it and putting into practice the suggestions. One of the greatest life game changers for me is this priority list.
#1 ~ God
#2 ~ Husband
#3 ~ Children
#4 ~ Home
#5 ~ Self
#7 ~ Others
A very simple list, just always put things in this order (no switching it around) and everything will be ok, right? Wrong! We all struggle trying to know when to do some thing that is good, better, or best when we run into a time pinch. This list will help in those times of need.
Anyway, back to my story of today. I got up earlier, at 5 am, so that I could try to 'squeeze in' another quick chapter of my Raising Up Boys book by Dr. James Dobson. In my head, I thought that I would have an extra half hour to read this book before I went to the book, my Bible. What ended up happening was that I got to reading and read into my time that I was supposed to be out in my chair. By this point, it was getting hot and I thought I needed to go for my bike ride first. "I would read my Bible when I got back." Yeah, right! Like I already said, if I do not do it first thing, it will not happen. A plain and simple truth.
So here is how it boils down. I know what my #1 priority is and I set aside the time, but yet I still deviate from the plan. I know that starting my day with breakfast with God (and our dogs and kitten) on our porch in our hand made adirondack chairs, watching the sun come up is the best thing ever. I also know that I am human and I will make mistakes. I am so fortunate that we have a loving and forgiving God. As long as I am willing to go before Him and admit my failures, ask for forgiveness, and work on doing better next time, He will hear me.