Love Is....

Love Is....

Monday, June 11, 2018

Day #6: Monday

(Homemade) Sausage seasoned deer with roasted
peppers, goat cheese, a farm fresh egg, sunflower
and mixed lettuce microgreens, and honey/Amish
buttered sprouted Ezekiel toast.  Complete with
English Breakfast tea and honey.
Culinary AMAZINGNESS!

Just getting started today for my first
appointment.  Prayed "Surprise Me God"
prayer this morning.

When I pray this prayer, why am I surprised when I am surprised!?!  After all, that is what I asked for, right!?!

My first appointment today was with a psychologist on the 11th floor.  (P.S.  It was a challenge to find this floor because the regular elevators skip this floor, so it was kind of fun....I like scavenger hunts!)  Anyway, I have noticed an unhealthy relationship with food beginning to form.  When I feel bad after I eat, I naturally do not want to eat the offending food again anytime soon.  This is increasingly frustrating to me and Heath as my list keeps growing and changing daily.  It is about to drive my everloving, precious, patient husband crazy.  Me too, to be fair.  I don't want to be changing, restricting, over indulging, avoiding certain foods and/or food groups, thinking constantly about meals and what I can and cannot eat, should and should not eat but my mind is now involved with the physical symptoms of my stomach caused by the pelvic floor dysfunction.  My body is just trying to do what's best, but it really doesn't know what to do....that is why I am here to help the muscles and to learn to relax and retrain the brain to work with those muscles hence "biofeedback."

After spending about an hour with the nurse visiting about some of my symptoms, we came up with quite a surprising fit to the symptoms I have been experiencing most of my life.  Looking back, I can see this trending throughout various seasons.....crazy that at 32, I am just now identifying the struggle.  After years of trying to understand my frustrating behaviors (yes, I not only frustrate others, but myself too).  One of my famous lines to Heath is, "You should try being in my head."  This is used on days he really wants me to relax and I just don't know how because I am all over the place and anywhere but in the present moment.

We wrapped the session up with the nurse and the psychologist who sent me with some tools to take  home.  They recommended a book that another person had told me about as well and encouraged seeking counseling back home.  I have a wonderful counselor back home that I have used alot before!  Thankful for great resources both here and back home.

Whew, when I got out of this heavy appointment and exited the elevator, I was greeted with the peregrine falcon demonstration.  This was totally by accident happening upon it at this moment, but something I was wanting to experience.  I stayed and listened and learned for a while.  It was fun and something to divert my brain off of myself and on to something else.  Thank you God for your impeccable timing, all the time!

Peregrine Falcons at Mayo
(Click to learn more.)

My next mission was to get that book....it became some crazy person mission to get this recommended book before my next PT session - oh, AND I went to People's Coop to get groceries TOO.  Why I thought all this had to be done right now, is beyond me.  Crazy person mode hit.  I walked rapidly back to the house and was visiting with Heath while I was trying to unlock my door.  I suddenly couldn't hear him because he was breaking up and then I just hung up after frantically telling him that I was on my way to get this book.  All I remember, through the breaking up/crackling on the other end, was him telling me not to kill myself that I could always get it later....ahhhh the voice of reason.  Reason to someone, but that someone wasn't me at this moment.  I was after that book.  I didn't want to go after my afternoon session because then there would be 5 o'clock traffic and I haven't driving much here this week and definitely didn't want to start with 5 o'clock traffic.

I made it to Barnes and Noble after I called to have the book reserved and waiting for me upon arrival.  I had no time to waste with the cheaper, Amazon Prime 2-day delivery, I just had to get started.  When I arrived, the checker lady was like, "Oh, what does OCD mean?" ever-so-loudly as she read the title of my new workbook.  I briefly explained what I had learned this morning and she said that she obsessively counts her steps in her house she has lived in for over 40 years....sigh......

On my walk back to the Clinic for my first round of PT for the day, I humbled myself and called Heath back to apologize for the hasty hangup and that crazy person that he spoke with earlier.....the thing is, I don't even think he had noticed....is that a bad thing?!  Do I act this way all of the time....LOL!  All good, good PT session and then a Breathing and Relaxation class at the Cancer Education Center followed by Caring Canines and the introduction to "Kelso."

Meet "Kelso"

Got to keep that smile going!  A little late lunch and learn and some fresh air and this girl was ready for the second PT session.  DON'T QUIT trying and learning!

Just keep sMiLIn'!

Late ~ Yummy ~ Lunch and Learn

Homemade granola and beet chips!

When I got home I decided to make homemade granola with my new ingredients and also cook my red beets and then add some rosemary and transform them into beet chips.  While I was baking, my Air B&B host's hubby came to mow the yard.  She had told me that she would like to send some samples, with her hubby, of the Monat haircare products for me to try.  So, I went out and met her hubby.  Super nice!  Great conversation that somehow I had committed to myself (and him) that I would be running to Flapdoodle's for another round of ice cream!  LOL, so with that light accountability, I did!  I ate a few handfuls of the new granola hot out of the oven and then headed out for my run/ice cream.  Nice trail/path all the way there with parts of it along the Zumbro River.

I absolutely *love* all the peonies, ferns, and hostas which all remind me of Grandpa Wilson and Grandma June.

Upon my arrival, I called Heath and Lexi.  Heath went to pick Lexi up in Colorado from her church camp so they were on their roadtrip home.  When I got there, I told them that I didn't feel like eating any ice cream...the granola hadn't settled too well.  Heath said that I absolutely did not run all the way there to go home without ice cream.  Sigh....I mentioned this before, he is ALWAYS right, if I would just listen the first time.  So, I did!  I went in and tried my three different samples but went back to my favorite from my prior visit:  BIRTHDAY CAKE WITH SPRINKLES IN A DARK-CHOCOLATE DIPPED WAFFLE CONE!  When I told the guy that I had just run there, he had the audacity to ask me if I wanted a small scoop....I was like....was he not listening....I just ran here, I want the REAL DEAL...LOL!  :)  This is part of enjoying life.


I decided to take a different way home, just for something different.  I started walking and enjoying my ice cream.  I was doing well until the sidewalk ended and I was on a frontage road.  Now who thought it would be a good idea to send a walker/runner on a frontage road without a sidewalk (thank you phone maps).  For real Thank You people who had grass along the road and for letting me walk on it!!  I was then dumped onto a trail/path, finally.  I had a great run home and actually my stomach felt waaaay better running home on ice cream than with granola on the way there.

NOTE TO SELF:  new pre-race - Birthday Cake Ice Cream with Sprinkles in a Dark-Chocolate Dipped Waffle Cone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stopped to look for 4-leafed clovers!
Lexi informed me I had to find 5!!

Great devotion to end the day!
*ASK*SEEK*KNOCK*

Check out the growth on these pea shoots from morning until night.
They are definitely reaching for the sun coming through the window!

No comments: